End of Summer 2015

So, Shao went back to college late August 2015, for her Sophomore year. I knew it would be a tough year, without Zander being there. Beginning of September I began feeling unwell. Headed into the ER clinic on Labor Day and managed to get myself taken by ambulance to the hospital for a five day stay. Remember that acute diverticulitis episode in late June? Well, seems it never really resolved. We decided it was time for the big guns to make their entrance…iv antibiotics. Fun times. I was one round short of finishing chemo. Week after week I would head to the infusion clinic, only to be turned away for low counts. My dear Uncle Bill passed away, and I couldn’t go to his funeral because I was neutropenic…ie, had no immune system. After 3 weeks of it, Dr. Levy said what I had been thinking, “I think we’re done.” So, no last round of chemotherapy, which was fine with me! 

All the time this was going on, my sister had started a go fund me. And began baking yummy things and selling them to friends and family, to benefit me! My landlord had agreed to waiting for my rent until I found a way to pay her…not to not charge me, but to wait for payment. The go fund me raised enough for a car…mine was shot…and enough for monthly expenses. My church approached me and said that they were going to pay my back rent! God provided spectacularly! And by Christmas I was going about my life again! ShaoXi came home for Christmas and Zander flew in a few days later to spend the holidays with us. It was perfect! But it was SO hard when the kids left in January. 

In talking to my regular doctor we discussed depression. And we decided that an emotional support dog would be the best thing for me. Shao had asked the landlord for permission to have a pet and was told no. But for some reason this time she said yes! Now, mind you, I had been dreaming about this for awhile, had been scouring adoption/rescue sites for the perfect dog. And my dear friend Donna, Shao’s godmother, had offered to pay the fees to make it happen! I had applied to a few, trusting that God would work it out if it was meant to be. I could always decline, right? Well, the day after the Landlord said yes, I got a call that I had been approved to adopt a puppy in Tennessee. Talk about God’s perfect timing! And it gets better! Dawn, at the rescue said that it so happened that “Princess” was getting spayed the next day, and that she could be put on a transport right after, as long as the adoption fees were paid. So Tuesday, May 17th, my new puppy was put on the transport trailer, headed my way. This was all just a few days after I was given permission to have a dog. That night, Tuesday, my landlord called and said that she had changed her mind. I told her the puppy was already on its way to me from Tennessee. She said that she was sure I could find someone to take her once she arrived. Umm…no…nope. Things got ugly. Her son got involved. He called my Doctor, and the office pretty much told him that he’d better be careful, because by law, if I was “prescribed “ an ESA , a landlord could not say no. I did ask, and I had the landlord’s letter of approval, but technically I could have just TOLD her, I didn’t have to ask. My puppy, now named Daisy Mae, arrived on May 19th. What a joy! Gave me reason to get out of bed every day! 10+ years later, she’s still here, my best buddy! But the landlord was definitely not happy, so life got a bit tough. Nothing major, but the landlord sure wasn’t being pleasant anymore. Nothing horrible, just uncomfortable. Until…she raised my rent by $450 a month, to be raised even more over the coming year. Rent was now more than I got in Social Security a month. She did not care. Ugh! More in the next installment!

Blessings!

Nancy 

 Part 2 of catching up!

So…Non- Hodgkins Lymphoma. I’m told if you’re going to get cancer, this is a “good” one to get. Uh…yeah, okay…no. But in actuality, it is, because it is usually controllable for many years. It is NOT curable, but it’s controllable. It’s now early May and Shao is coming home soon! Knowing that she is studying and taking finals, I decided to wait until she got home to break the news. 

Usually, when NHL is diagnosed, doctors take a “wait and watch” stance. But in my case, Dr. Levy (my hematologist/oncologist)and I felt that we had already been doing that, over the past two or more years, we just hadn’t realized it til now. The prescribed treatment was six rounds of chemotherapy, over the next several months. I originally pushed to wait until school was done, so I could continue working as long as possible. Having lived with it unknowingly for so long, I was not feeling an urgency to get treatment immediately. I had bills to pay, and nothing to fall back on, financially. My family quickly nixed that and assured me that they would help me with whatever I needed. So I gave notice at work and that was that!

ShaoXi came home just a few days or maybe a week after the diagnosis. 3 days after she arrived, her boyfriend Alexander flew up to meet me. He was very sweet and VERY nervous. I liked him right away, but definitely had reservations about the fact that he had just graduated and was flying back to Australia, and Shao had 3 more years of college ahead. Th day after he came, Shao’s best friend Krista, my “other daughter”, came over to meet Zander. I decided that this was a good time to break the news. Oh, boy, my girl was furious that I had waited to tell her. It took her awhile before she was willing to talk to me, but having Krista and Zander there helped, for sure. 

Once we got over that hump, things moved quickly. I had an out patient procedure to place a port, we spent lots of fun time showing Zander around, and then the time came to send him home. Oh, I had one very sad girl! But I was so thankful that she was there, and able to help me get through several rounds of chemotherapy before heading back to Mississippi for her sophomore year. Chemo wasn’t too horrible. The chemotherapy I had did not make me lose my hair, so that was a blessing. It did make me very tired, and not very hungry. I would have chemo two days in a row, then a shot on the third day to boost my blood’s ability to make new red blood cells. The ickiness hit around day four, and lasted through the weekend. Then I had two weeks off, then repeat. Since the chemo lowered my immune system, I did struggle with diverticulitis after my second round. Oh, yeah…I had been diagnosed with diverticulosis back in maybe 2011 or 2012…can’t remember. The diverticulitis attack caused me to have to wait an extra week between rounds 2 and 3. Not a big deal, just an annoying delay. I spent most of my time resting. I would get up for a few hours, eat a little, then back to sleep for a few hours. That was my summer. Poor Shao, not much fun for her. But she was working, hanging out with her friends, and so I didn’t worry too much about her. It was so nice just having her home! 

Okay, part three in the near future!

Blessings, Nancy

 Holy cannoli! My last post I said I was the worst blogger…this proves it! What a blast to see what I posted so many years ago! THIRTEEN YEARS AGO!!!! Yikes! How do you come back from THAT?!?!?

Ummm…guess I’ll try. Let’s see…last few posts I mentioned ShaoXi was a Senior in HS, and we were looking at colleges. We did indeed make the trip down to Belhaven University in Jackson, MS. While it was the school farthest from home, I felt like it was the right place for my girl. I said nothing, as I wanted it to be her decision. Ultimately she was accepted at 3 colleges, but Belhaven offered the most scholarships. But, beyond that, Shao decided that she truly was meant to go to Belhaven. So in August of 2014 I drove her down and got her settled in. My best friend, Kim, flew down from Pennsylvania to drive back home with me, so I wasn’t alone. Best friends are the best! 

Thus began my life as an empty nester. Oh, it was hard! I couldn’t wait for December! I kind of forget, but I think she flew home. A few times over the four years of college she carpooled with classmates, so it’s a bit foggy! Christmas break was way too short for my liking, but that’s no surprise! One big surprise was that she had a boyfriend! I wasn’t really surprised, I knew about him before she came home. The biggest surprise? He was from Australia! And a Senior, getting ready to graduate in five more months. Long distance relationships are tough enough, but that was REALLY gonna be long distance! 

I also mentioned in previous blogs that I was not feeling well. Once Shao left to go back to school life went on as usual. For the last eighteen months I had been seeing a plethora of different doctors. I had been diagnosed with kidney disease, due to my former doctor prescribing WAY too much ibuprofen to treat constant pain. So there’s that. It doesn’t really affect me much, but I do have to be careful to keep hydrated, and it is of concern if I need to have tests done with contrast dye, like CAT scans or MRIs. 

I had been struggling for years with low iron/anemia, so had a hematologist on board. I adore him, such a great doctor! We were perplexed by the persistence of the anemia, as I had had a few iron infusions which did nothing for me. That winter of 2015 I had some new symptoms, beyond the paralyzing fatigue. I was seeing Dr. Levy every few months by then. March/April 2015 rolled around and I went to my bimonthly appointment. To my shock, and likely his, he said, “Oh, you have some enlarged lymph nodes in your neck!” One biopsy and month later, we finally figured out why I had been feeling unwell for so long. I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. 

Okay this is getting so long! Stick around, I PROMISE that I won’t make you wait 13 years for part two!

Blessings, Nancy

The worst....

Obviously I am the worst blogger on the planet...it's been a year.  A very long year since I've updated this blog.  I can only say that these days doing much of anything totally wears me out, and I wish I knew why.  In some ways I am better than I have been in past years....but the relentless fatigue/exhaustion doesn't go away, and thus I sit in a fog, with lots of PLANS to do this or that, but never muster up the energy to do any of them.  Everything seems like a huge chore.  Life shouldn't be this way, I am sure.  But by now, I seem to be used to it...which bothers me no end.  I do manage to work every day, but honestly, I don't know how I get through it all...I am doing a very long run, so am on the road 7 hours a day.  But I can't make it financially if I have less hours than that, so that's that.

Anyhow...that said...I am making no promises on how I will continue on with this blog.  But for today, for this very moment, I am here.

This year is a big one for us...Miss ShaoXi is a Senior in High School, and we are all about applying to colleges, auditioning for the dance programs, ad infinitum.  It only brings home to  me the cold stark reality that in about 7 months, my precious girl will be flying the nest, and mama will be flying solo, as well.  Should be an interesting adjustment.  Shao & I are so close that I think it will be harder than most....added to the fact that there is no father in our lives (as in I am NOT married), so I will be truly on my own.  I do hope to join some different groups, etc., that have been impossible what with Shao's schedule for dance, etc.

My girly scored the role of Snow Queen in this year's Nutcracker, and she was beyond amazing!!!!  I am awestruck how she manages to do all she does on a daily basis.  She once again made honors in school, which took a lot of hard work.  She is not one of those kids who never picks up a book and gets all A's.  She works HARD for good grades.  She works hard for everything in her life.  I have never met a more self-motivated kid in my life.  Amazing girl...an amazing gift to me, that's for sure.

This Christmas was one of our favorites.  We literally had little to no money, so we bought each other 3 very small gifts, and that was it.  We weren't able to buy anything for anyone else, so even though I would have loved to have bought for the little kids in the family, it made for a very laid back holiday!!!  We spent Christmas Eve at my niece Kate's house, sitting around watching her 15 mo. old baby girl Kelsi be absolutely adorable, as always!!  On Christmas Day we got up late, opened our presents, and eventually meandered over to my sister Polly's house, where again we watched Kelsi and also my beautiful twin nieces, Cadence & Hayleigh, who are almost 5, as they entertained us thoroughly.  Such treasures they are!

Shao & I came home early, napped and then got up and cooked Christmas dinner together....a yummy seafood pasta dish, a salad, and assorted cheesecake for dessert.  We watched "Elf" and "Heat" and loved every minute of being together.  Best Christmas ever...except for NEXT Christmas...when I will be waiting with open arms for her to come home to me from college, wherever that may be!!!!

In February we will be headed south for a whirlwind trip to Jackson Mississippi, and Winston-Salem NC, to look at two colleges, and audition for the one, Belhaven Univ., in Jackson.  We also plan to do a quick sidetrip to New Orleans for Saturday night....should be eye-opening, for sure! :)  My sister Polly is going with us, to help drive.  We will have to drive straight thru to Jackson, which is 22 hours away from here, so need the help!   ShaoXi has to be there for Friday morning, Feb. 14th, so we will leave on Wed., early evening, and drive straight through!  It will be a little more leisurely coming home, but still we need to be back in CT by Tuesday night, the 18th, so Polly can go to work in the morning, and Shao will go back to school.  Anyone with a couple of spare beds live anywhere on the route??? :)

Shao has applied to 6 colleges....Belhaven U., in MS; University of North Carolina School of the Arts, in NC; Point Park U., in Pittsburgh PA; NYU/Tisch in NYC; Ailey/Fordham in NYC; and Wesleyan U., here in CT.   She REALLY would like to go to Ailey/Fordham.  She has already been accepted at Belhaven academically (she will audition for the BFA in dance program when we go down there), and at Point Park U. both academically and artistically.  So far, Belhaven has offered her the best scholarship money, and that does not even include what they might offer her for artistic merit once she auditions.  On top of that, if you visit the school in person, there is an automatic scholarship of $1000 per semester.  Thus, we head south!

That's about all the news...oh, Shao is driving now!  Makes my life so much easier, even if it does leave me "stranded at home" quite a bit! :)

Love and blessings....Nancy & ShaoXi

Wha' happened?

How is it possible that Christmas is over?  So much anticipation builds up, and then in 24 hours...GONE.   And I'm not talking about the "stuff"....just the time, spent with family, relaxing and talking, watching the kids run around in circles even though every adult in the house has said at least once, "No running in the house!"  And taking eager turns holding our little Kelsi girl, reluctantly giving her up to the next in line. 

Tonight it is snowing and sleeting like crazy.  I'm supposed to go to an appointment about a half hour away tomorrow morning...not so sure I am going to be able to go.  We shall see!!

Shao & I are leaving for Maine on Friday morning.  So excited!!!  One of my dear friends from college lives outside of Portland, and we are going to spend 4 days with him, for New Year's Eve.  He is Shao's "official" godfather, although she has a few who I would say are unofficial! :)  Especially her Grampa Ron, who is husband to her godmother, Gramma Donna.  Blessed girl, to have so many people who love her so very much!

Anyhow, we haven't been up to see Unca' Dick for a long long time (too long!!), so this is gonna be fun.  And we might just get to go with him on Saturday to get two new kittens!  His beautiful cat, Mulan, died this fall, and he is ready for a new one...and decided TWO would be even better! :)
Fun times, new kittens! :)

Not much else happening in our world.  I got to take care of Kelsi today for several hours, while her mama and daddy worked.  That is such a joy...love me some baby girl time!  Other than that...nada.

Blessings to all...hope y'all are safe and warm! :)

Nancy & ShaoXi

Three more days until Christmas!!!  How in the world did THAT happen?  I suppose I am ready...but it doesn't seem like it.  It has been a difficult and sad week here in Connecticut.  I feel like I am on a very wild rollercoaster, lots of ups, and plenty of very steep, swift "downs."

One good thing...no ballet until January!!  Freedom feels good!  Today my girl is in Boston with several friends.  They have tickets to attend tonights performance of "The Nutcracker" at Boston Ballet.  I am excited for her to see a real company perform this, since she has been in so many of them herself with NHB.  Next year she is gunning for the part of the Snow Queen...here's hoping! :) 

We are looking forward to having time off, being able to visit leisurely with family and friends, and to be together.  I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas, and that the real meaning of this season is deeply ingrained in your hearts and souls.   Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift...His Son, Jesus, our Messiah, Saviour and Lord!

 Blessings...Nancy & ShaoXi

About 20 or more years ago, I lived on a farm, in a 300 year old house with wide pine board floors, and rough plaster walls, and views to die for.  To go to work every day, I had to come down out of the hills, past other farms, to a lake/reservoir, and drive alongside that for quite awhile, enjoying the swans who were always there.  I finally came into a tiny little village, with a stopsign in the middle, a old wood-sided general store.  To the left was a lake a few miles down the road.  To the right was the Interstate, another few miles away.  It was a lovely peaceful place, and I looked at homes there to buy.  I taught kindergarten for a couple of years just two towns away, then worked for a large corporation in the nearest city.  

That lovely little village was Sandy Hook, a section of Newtown CT.  Newtown was a pretty and picturesque town with a wide main street, one grocery store and a handful  of  sweet specialty shops.
Every day I drove through those streets.  Yesterday my heart broke for the people of Sandy Hook.  If ever there seemed a safe place in this crazy, broken, sinful world, that would surely be high on the list.  Evil doesn't pay attention to such things, I have found out. 

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with that small community which is reeling in grief today, surely planning funerals for children whose little caskets will be haunting and starkly horrifying by their tiny size.  There is a family who lost mother and at least one son...the Lanza family.  I am heartbroken for them, as well, for those left behind to bear the grief and the perceived shame, although I doubt there was anything they could have done, and no way they could grasped the impending doom hovering over them when they woke up on Friday morning. 

I hesitate to let my girl out of my sight.  I cannot fathom the pain of losing her, although having lost a 6 year old niece to a violent murder, I DO know, I suppose, to some extent.  I know all over this world parents are holding their children closer, and speaking words of love into their lives, now more than ever.  It shouldn't take this kind of act to do that...but in our busy lives, sometimes we are oblivious to the important things right in front of our noses.  

Sandy Hook/Newtown....I grieve with you all.  May our Heavenly Father hold each one tightly in His arms, may you feel His love, may we all be the hands and feet of Jesus to these precious people.

Blessings from CT....Nancy