Monday, June 28, 2010

Crazy Love Prayers needed!

My girl...she is so homesick. She calls me several times a day. It is only the first day, but she is burning up her minutes on her new cell phone! I feel so bad for her, and I miss her so. Please pray for her, that she will settle in, that she will find joy in her classes, that she will grow and flourish. Pray for her poor feet...she is in agony! Poor kid. I feel so helpless, I can't do anything for her. I did ORDER her to go to the dorm mom and get an ibuprofen, so the pain at least is muted a little. Hopefully some GOOD sleep will help her view of things. She IS enjoying her roommates, and whenever I tell her to have sweet dreams, and to tell them the same, she does, and they all call back to me "Sweet dreams!" So sweet.

Please pray for our finances. I THOUGHT I would be working in July, but I am NOT, and while I will get unemployment, it isn't even enough to pay the monthly rent. I am asking around for work, although this week I am volunteering at our church's VBS. OH, I love my kids! I have the ten year olds, and they are a blast! I just LOVE them!!!! :) So I CAN'T work this week, and it KILLED me this morning when my boss called to see if I could help out and I had to say no. sigh

I also had an offer for a house/dog-sitting job, but THAT week I have volunteered to be a camp counselor at a wonderful camp being run by a couple from my church. They are COMMITTED to helping children come to know Jesus. I have to smile...the two times I am doing something for Jesus, I have had to turn down PAYING jobs. Think He is trying to tell me something? Something like "Trust Me!" You'd think I'd have learned this lesson by now! :)

Thank you for your prayers! We sure are needy! :P


Saturday, June 26, 2010


Tomorrow...tomorrow my little girl tries her wings. Tomorrow she puts her toes (literally...haha, ballet humor!) into the giant ocean called life and experiences it on her own, without me by her side. Oh, I will be just a phone call away, but still. Tomorrow I have to drive away with a smile on my face. Yeah, right. sigh. Okay...I'll TRY!

We are pretty much ready to go. Her suitcase is packed, her linens/bedding are packed. I have two small boxes in the is toiletries, etc. The other is her "kitchen." Paper plates, plastic utensils, one sharper knife, napkins, paper towels, ziploc bags, a couple of containers, some garbage bags...just in case.

She has her books and Bible packed. We already put the cases of water in the car. Dancing is thirsty work! Her new ballet slippers are all set, elastic sewn in. There are leotards, pointe shoes and ballet skirts waiting for us at Nutmeg's Boutique. It's all good. EXCEPT...she's leaving me. Ever watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? I keep doing the line "Why you want to leave me?" with all the pathos that the Dad used to his grown up daughter. It makes us both laugh...but WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME???

I'll be fine. I think. Oh, I know I will. Still....this is not easy. sigh

We have to stop at a Target store on the way up to Nutmeg, to buy an extra-long twin mattress pad. I know they have them...and OH, why did I not BUY the thing when I was there? I plead insanity. Now we have to go there, after having hit several local (sort of) WalMarts, to no avail. However, we DID get the cell phone she needed! So that was good. I can't believe that tomorrow is the day. Please keep us in your prayers...ShaoXi for fun and excitement, new learning experiences, new friends, health and rest. ME? for not falling apart without my baby girl.


Tuesday, June 22, 2010


My baby goes to Nutmeg in FIVE DAYS!!! EEEK!!! Boy, will I miss her. I am gonna do my best to NOT cry til I've left her there. We'll see...I'm a cryer, so it's gonna be hard!

We took a mini vacation to New Hampshire to visit her godparents. While we were there, they took her to the bank with a large coffee can full of change...cashed it in for dollars, and sent her home with $185 to get things for Nutmeg, and for spending money. Blessings abound. These are the same wonderful folks who are paying for half of the session! They are so very very good to us!

And NH was GORGEOUS!!!! Best weather we've had while visiting there. BIG fluffy clouds, in a blue sky, with the lake and mountains. Oh, how I love it there!!! It fills up my soul.

Now it's back to normal life. I'm working today, and two more days, and then I am done for the summer. I just applied for a dog sitting job for a week in July. Please pray that comes through, because I have NO clue how I am going to pay the rent and utilities for July and August, with only unemployment coming in! That doesn't even cover the rent, never mind anything else. Trusting God here....BIG TIME!!!! Willing to work at whatever I can.

Gotta get to work getting girly ready to go. Right now she is out mowing the lawn. The landlady hired her to do it, and she has been saving money from that, too. So she is very set for new pointe shoes, as needed, and spending money. Thank You, Father!!!!


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Teenage Angst

Because the picnic with 20 girls wasn't enough, I brought 3 of them home with me for the night. Shao has a close circle of girlfriends that are very precious to her. But they also drive her nuts some times. And two of them lately, more than usual. It would seem that these two, who used to be Shao's friends, and friendly with one another, are now very tight, and unknowingly excluding the others, to the point where Shao and a few of the other girls are really hurt over it.

WELL...let me tell ya...last night was interesting! LOTS of deep feelings came out, lots of discussion, lots of tears and sadness, but in the end...LOTS and LOTS of joy and love and laughter, and I think much closer friendships than before! PLUS...when I went in to say good night? FOUR girlies jumped up for goodnight hugs. I thought my heart would burst! How sweet was THAT? These three girls are very dear to my heart. All for different reasons, all have different needs, all are very sweet, nice kids. I long for them to know Jesus, but Shao longs for that even more. We often take them to church with us, invite them to youth activities, and just keep loving on them. What a delight it was to see such open lovingness from them last night!!!! I hope it lasts...but when I saw them this morning, I opened my arms wide, and each one came for a morning hug! :) JOY!

Please pray for Krista, Emily and Megan. I want them to know the joy and love that is available to them. I want to be a vessel for God in the lives of these girls. They have lovely parents, but each girl has something in them that really needs ministering to, and each need is different. Also, please keep Megan especially in your prayers. She has some lumps on her arm, and has had all manner of tests, etc. Still no idea what it is, so the next step is a biopsy. But the thing about Meg? She is MANIC about needles. I am NOT kidding when I say she goes absolutely beserk, and totally freaks out. So it's a HUGE thing for her, and her parents are dreading telling her that she needs to have the lumps biopsied. It will not be a pretty thing...but GOD. I am going to pray earnestly for this. This kid needs to have some peace about this whole thing.

Anyhow...I now have a yard full of happy NINTH graders (well, they aren't 8th graders anymore, so I guess they're ninth graders now! I hear music, laughter, singing. I see some dancing and sunbathing, and just generally happy girls. YIPPEE, JESUS!!!! And I don't have to work this afternoon, so I can just sit back and enjoy them...and chauffuer them wherever (most likely the beach, but we'll see!)


Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Yesterday I arrived home to warm, freshly baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies! :) Today I arrived home to find my girl mowing the lawn, riding around on it like a pro, looking far more grown up than I am ready to face. Why do kids grow up so fast? I need to sit back and savor the sweetness of each moment. Because they really ARE fleeting. She will be off to Nutmeg in just 12 days. She is going to come home her first weekend, as it is Fourth of July, and we always celebrate it with beach and fireworks and friends. I am so glad she wants to come home for that. I spent so many July 4ths alone, wishing I had someone to go see fireworks with. Ever since she came home, it has been what we do. When she was very little, she called them "flowers in the sky." How apt is that? :)

Tomorrow my girl graduates from Eighth Grade. Today she received an award from the State of CT, chosen to receive Polson Middle School's "Eighth Grade Excellence in Citizenship Award."
Can you say proud mama? :) What a treasure she is.

We were supposed to be hosting a Graduation Party after the ceremony for 20 of her friends, down at the town beach tomorrow. HOWEVER...much rain is in the forecast, so we are moving to the rain date, which is Thursday. And listen to THIS....I was all worried about taking Thursday afternoon off, because I am already taking Wed. morning off, to attend graduation. But His infinite wisdom, already knew I wasn't even NEEDED on Thursday afternoon, because my student's mom is picking him up! SOOOO...we are ALL set. Yes, I won't get paid. But I also won't put the bus company out, having to find a driver to do my run. Isn't God amazing even in the little details? Thank You, Abba Father!


Saturday, June 12, 2010

My princess!

Isn't she beautiful!?!? This is the dress I made for her, for her Eighth Grade Social, the end of the year dance. She absolutely loved it. I wasn't quite happy with a few things, but in the end, she loved it, so that's all that counts. Of course, her latest request? "Mama, can you make me my wedding gown?" AIYIYIYI!!! I don't THINK so! :) Here's another picture:


Friday, June 11, 2010

Still doesn't know

So, I decided to NOT tell her IF she had decided to go to the graduation. Because I did not want to make her sad, and what was the point, if we weren't even going to be here? And she definitely did want to go to the graduation, and then to the dance, so that is what we did. And now I am still left with the sad task of telling her about Mr. Barker. But she ended up inviting a friend over for the night, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. Time enough to bring her down from her party high!!! She had a blast, and looked GORGEOUS. And somehow I never took a picture of her. Won't she just LOVE it when I make her put it all back on tomorrow, for picture taking?!?!? :) And I WILL do that, believe me! :)


Sad today

Just got an email from my daughter's dance school, New Haven Ballet. The artistic director passed away yesterday afternoon from a long battle with cancer. Oh, how we will miss him! He came in the same month we joined NHB. But he had STARTED the school back in 1985, and then left to go on to other things. He was a brilliant, gifted dancer and he leaves behind a whole school of kids and faculty who will mourn his loss, AND a wife and 7 year old daughter.

And here's the part that at this exact MOMENT impacts my life. Do I tell ShaoXi today? There is an open house at the ballet studio from 6-8PM to honor him. No funeral arrangements as yet. BUT...tonight is her big 8th grade dance, the one I made a dress for, the one she has been so excited about. AND it is also graduation night for her old private school. St. Bridget's only goes to 8th grade, so her old fellow students are graduating and going on to schools all over the place. The original plan was to go to the graduation (it's 45 min. away!), leave there by 8PM and get to the dance by 8:45 (it ends at 10). But lately ShaoXi has been on the fence about attending the graduation, so I don't even know WHAT she wants to do tonight. And then there's the open house now. SIGH

This is the tough part of parenting. When and what and how to tell your child. Do you let them enjoy their big night, THEN tell them? But that means they miss the opportunity to choose to attend the open house. But then they will have even MORE confusion as to what to do. As do I. Oh, my goodness. These are the times I kinda wish I was married, and had someone to bounce all this off of! Times like these, it's hard being a single parent. It's a lot to deal with. Thankfully, I happen to have one of the most incredible kids on the planet, so I DON'T have to deal with behaviour issues on my own...not yet, anyways...hopefully, NEVER! :)

Pray for the Barker family...Noble's wife Ruth, and his little girl, Eliza. Pray for me as I struggle with what to do. Please pray for all the children of NHB who will be affected by Noble's death.
Hard times. Thank You, Father God, for walking this path with us!


Thursday, June 10, 2010

100 Pounds Soaking Wet!

My little/big girl just came home from her Eighth Grade trip, soaking wet and happy as a clam (which, now that I think of it, prefers to be wet!) They go to a place called Holiday Hill, which offers just about every fun thing you can think of for kids, including horsebackriding. So my girl took her first REAL horseback ride today and really liked it! :) She has been up on the backs of friends' horses and on many a pony ride at fairs, but not truly ridden. Cool!

I got to hear every minute detail of her day, which I LOVE. Hope she ALWAYS wants to tell me stuff! And now we are headed down to our local nail salon to FINALLY spend our gift card there. Tomorrow night is the big end of the year Eighth Grade dance, and baby girl asked me to PLEASE make her a dress. So I did! I will take a picture tomorrow of it, I promise! So girly is getting a mani AND pedi! Woohoo! Pretty girl!


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Absolutely right!

A reader named Sandy commented on my last post: I wouldn't just say that "when she is a famous ballerina, we will be able to say "it is because of schools like Waterbury'sCT academy of performing arts"... I think you should say it is because we serve a mighty God...don't you think? Give credit where credit is due. Only God orchestrated that."

At first I felt taken aback...but then I realized. She is absolutely right. Of course she is! The thing is, THAT is a given. An absolute. In our home we firmly and fully acknowledge that EVERYTHING is a gift from God, and that He meets our needs and even longings of our hearts every day. Thank you, Sandy. It made me realize that here in the "bloggy world" we need to be ESPECIALLY careful how we word things. How would you know that we absolutely believed and confirmed this every chance we get? We've never had the privilege of meeting, so you WOULDN'T! But I hope this makes me remember that I need to be really clear in some cases.

YES...this was GOD, through and through. It was GOD who put this gift for ballet IN my child, long before she took her first lesson! And it is GOD who continues to show her teachers that she is a child who truthfully, it must be a privilege to teach. I say that because she LOVES dance, she is TOTALLY focused, she is loving, polite, and thankful...and gifted. If I were a ballet teacher, I would be delighted to have her as a pupil! NOT to negate the gift of her being ALLOWED to dance on scholarship. Not at ALL!!! But isn't it nice that not only do they get a gifted student, but one who makes them smile every day?!? :)

It is a wonderful thing to be able to point out ACTUAL things that God has undoubtedly provided, and to tell your child "THIS, THIS is God's hands stretched out to us, using His people to provide!" The fact that she is filled with faith, and loves her Saviour beyond measure flows from His direct Hand in our lives!


Monday, June 7, 2010

Memorial Box daughter HAS to dance!

When we sold our house in 2006, I knew I would HAVE to find a new ballet school for ShaoXi. And I admit, I was worried about that. I KNEW New Haven Ballet was a really good school, but our old school had us there on full scholarship for years, and now what would happen? I was driving past their studio and saw a sign for a free registration/placement class. I noted the date and we showed up there that day. I had sent an email to the office a few days before, but that was at the NH office, and this was their satellite studio in Guilford.
I took her in and went up to the desk where 3 ladies were standing. I said something like, "Hi, I sent an email to the office this past week, but maybe you don't know about it. The thing is, I have NO money, am not working, and we just moved here from Waterbury. But my daughter HAS to dance." I told them I had inquired about scholarship possibilities, etc, in my email. They smiled, said no they hadn't been informed of my email, but why doesn't Shao come in and dance, and then we would talk? I sit down in the waiting room, and she goes off with them down the hall.
45 min. later all the little girls and the teachers come out, and the head teacher comes to me and says "I'll be BACK!" She proceeds to go to every other parent in the room, telling them where she felt their child should be placed, etc. After they are all done and gone, she comes back to me, plops down on the coffee table in front of me and says, "Your daughter HAS to dance!" I smiled and said "Yes, I told you that!" Miss Diana said that ALL parents/mothers come in saying that, and it is as it should be...they think their little one is very special. But my girl? Oh, she IS special...and one of the ways is at Ballet. She takes my breath away, honestly. And so, this fall we will begin our fourth year at NH Ballet. And we are so very, very thankful for their support of ShaoXi. Some day, when she is a famous ballerina, we will be able to say "It is because of schools like Waterbury's CT Academy of Performing Arts, and the New Haven Ballet!"

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Three weeks!!! EEEKKK!!!!!

Three baby is leaving me in THREE weeks! YIKES!!!! Oh, man, I gotta start packing! :) Actually, I have already started but just little things like toiletries, as I thought of them. But I really have to begin to PACK soon. THREE weeks! And then I will be all alone for four weeks, unless she decides to come home on the weekends! Oh, my baby. When did she get big enough for all this? I miss her already! :)



Friday, June 4, 2010


Tonight was ShaoXi's year end Dance Recital. It was stunning, and one of my favorites ever. I think because it was all Broadway music, which I love. The ballet suite at the end was all music from West Side Story! Very cool! I am so blessed to have this child! And she is so blessed with such rare talent. AND...her English teacher came to see her dance. Now how cool is THAT?!?! Very, very cool. Loved meeting her. We went out to eat afterwards, and just got home at 11:15. To say we are tired is an understatement....gotta go to bed. Girlie is already sleeping away!