Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Please pray for Stellan...and Cindy!

Baby Stellan is again having serious heart problems. You can read his story and follow along by hitting the "Pray for Stellan" button on the sidebar. ALSO...please pray for a precious sister in the Lord, Cindy. She has TEN children, most adopted, most very small, and has "terminal" cancer. I put that in quotation marks, because many of us are fasting and praying for her healing, if God wills it! Her faith is unbelievable. You can follow her blog at http://faithfulpromises.blogspot.com/

I promise you, you will be blessed! Thank you for your prayers. They can change the world, those prayers!


Pushing on toward the prize!

We had an awesome weekend...headed up on Friday morning, right after my bus run, to Grantham NH, where my dear friends Ron & Donna live in the summers. They are in FL in the winter, although that may change! Works for me, cuz they are considering moving to Phoenix AZ, where Donna's daughter lives. And Phoenix is where my dear friends the Mars live...so we can "kill two birds with one stone" if that happens! :) To truly sweeten the pot, another dear friend, Milena, was there too, visiting! So I guess we already killed two birds! Poor little birds! :)

We drove home on Monday, an uneventful drive, which is always my favorite! Just a stop for gas and a bathroom, and we drove all the way home. We are dog-sitting for my brother's dogs this week, which is not a big deal EXCEPT it means I have to get up every morning to go let them out and feed them. I also can't go far, as I have to let them out several more times during the day, etc. My brother lives right around the corner, so it certainly isn't difficult. Just makes it impossible to go anywhere much.

Next week Shao begins Ballet Camp. Not sure if it will be one week or two, as I still owe money, and don't even have enough for the rent, never mind camp. Worse case scenario, we only do one, and Shao's godmother will hopefully get a refund. She paid for one week, and the town paid for part of another. But I was supposed to come up with the difference, and between not working, the $651 car repair that was NOT expected, the town car taxes, the utility bills, the yearly emissions inspection, me no longer working until September...things are a bit...um...beyond tight. More like non-existent, money wise. Oh, then on occassion, ShaoXi likes to eat...what is WITH that child? I fed her YESTERDAY, can't she wait a few more days? :)

I have consciously decided not to worry, not to scurry about trying to figure this out, not to borrow money. I am trusting God. I have done ALL I CAN to come up with enough, now I just have to trust Him. I THINK my brother will likely pay me for caring for the dogs...not sure, as I WOULD do it as a favor, but they insisted on paying me last time...so we'll see. It will be a real gift, if they decide to do so! And I am praying that SOMETHING comes up that maybe one of my sisters will need my help...they do housecleaning, and maybe, just maybe they'll need extra help. I am trusting that someway, the funds will be there.

It is quiet here tonight. Girly is sleeping over at a friend's house...can't say as I blame her. Summer has FINALLY arrived in New England, and it is hot and humid. And friend Megan has a POOL!!!!! Lucky Shao! Saturday, weather permitting, she and I are going out on her friend Krista's boat! I am so excited! It is no real big deal for Shao, who goes out with them all the time. But it will be the first time I have ever been on it when it's MOVING! :) I have spent lots of time sitting on the lanai with Krista's folks. But we are either going over to Long Island, or up the Connecticut River. Sounds like a blast! And on Sunday, after church, we are going over to the marina AGAIN, for a big party they are throwing. Gonna be a busy weekend! For such money poor folks, we sure are blessed! :)

Somehow this week I HAVE to get in some baby time with Cadence and Hayleigh! Must call their mama tomorrow and see what we can do! :) Other than caring for dogs, boating, and hopefully playing with babes, that's about it for this week! Next week I have to drive Shao to Ballet Camp every day. It is an hour's drive round trip, and I have to do it twice a day. Camp is from 9 to 4 each weekday. She's gonna be one tired puppy, let me tell ya!


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Up and down

Yesterday I only had to drive bus in the morning. So I was all done by 9:30, but had the dreaded annual company physical at 10. Dragged ShaoXi along with me, then did something I seldom do...I took her (and myself) to a movie. "UP" was great...and had a great message...don't waste your life! DO something. Make it count. Have fun. LIVE!

Today...not so good. I got mad at ShaoXi. She truly IS the best kid I've ever known. But she's a kid. And I was telling her something, and each time I said something, she had a rebuttal. I finally lost it and screamed at her to go to her room! She stood there, so I jumped up, still screaming, and got in her face. She went to her room. And to her credit, she did not slam the door. I finally went to my room, UNDRESSED (we were supposed to be going to a party) and crawled into bed. After awhile she came in. This child humbles me. She came in and asked sweetly if I was okay, put her arms around me and hugged me, brushed the hair from my face, told me she loved me, and that I was the best mother ever. Humbled. Wasn't I supposed to be the one that went to her? She is SOOOO the better person than I am!!!!! Humbled.

Anyhow. We talked, we hugged, we snuggled, we went to Wendy's for lunch, and now she is at a friend's for a birthday sleepover party. She didn't want to leave me. She said that in 5 years she will be leaving for college, and so she doesn't want to leave me NOW. Sweet, funny girl. She is molding me into a better person. I know why God chose her for me...He wanted her to make me more like Him...more like her. I have much to learn, but I am thankful for the angel He saw fit to entrust to my care.

I think I am stressed about life right now. And it all coils around inside me until I lose it. Not pretty. Not nice. Not good parenting. But that's the reality of my life at the moment. I am not doing very good at trusting God to supply what seem to be mountainous needs in our lives. And yet, has He NOT been supplying for the past 6 years, since I lost my "real" job? When am I going to learn this lesson? When will I NOT let Satan push me around?

Hope things are on a more even keel for you. I have a life preserver on, so don't worry, in the long I am going to be fine. Never thought of my Jesus as a life preserver before...makes me smile. How do people get through life without His love to sustain them? Beats me!


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Why, oh why?

Okay. I am nowhere NEAR as down as I was awhile back. But still. I am facing countless bills. I have to come up with $200 more dollars by the 3rd of August, for Shao to take her Ballet Intensives. My car is going to be $500, a very unexpected expense, but what can I do? Shao's birthday is quickly approaching. It would be nice if I could get her a few gifts. I have to pay for the Emissions inspection before July 29, and I have to pay the town car tax by August 1st.

I usually manage, SOMEHOW, to pay the monthly bills. It always amazes me that I am able to do so. But the extra, unexpected ones...well, that's another story. On top of it all, I have one week left to drive, and then am off for 6 weeks. I will get unemployment, but it is only 2/3 of what I make during the usual school year. And since it is difficult to make ends meet during the reg. school year, it should be impossible with what I get through unemployment.

On top of it, I am finding that dealing with an almost teenager, even if she is the greatest kid I personally have ever known, is challenging. I can't seem to impress upon her why it is important to wear modest clothing. It is not that she is TERRIBLY immodest. But she loves those spaghetti strap tops that all the girls wear. And while they look so cute on her, they are far from modest. Her bra straps show, and she HAS to wear a bra (my girl is growing up!) And there is a fair amount of skin showing, although her hair does cover alot. But ya can't count on that! So tonight she got into a mood, and pulled almost every shirt out of her drawers, saying they all had to go, because they are immodest. Not that she WANTED to get rid of them. She just wanted to have her little fit of attitude. And now she wants me to come to her room, so she can show me all the shirts she has to get rid of. It's an impressive pile. But none of this is done because of HER c convictions about modesty. She's mad at me, and hopes that this will make me feel bad. I KNOW her. And I am sorry, but it will NOT make me feel bad. Although I do think she is going overboard. Because she can wear these shirts here at home, and just hanging around. I don't have a problem with that.

Oh, man. Venting at it's finest. I am spinning around like a top these days. It makes me dizzy, to say the least. Not one of my favorite feelings...I was never a "twirler" when I was little. Shao is...she used to judge a dress on it's "twirlability" when she spun around. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I can get her INTO a dress. She loves to give me a hard time about it. I insist, most of the time, on a dress for church on Sundays, as well as for the big holidays. The rest of the time she is welcome to choose her own outfits, as long as they are MODEST! There's that word again.

Sigh...guess this is just the beginning of a lot of battles. I need to learn to pick mine...but modesty is not one I will budge on.

Pray for me...wisdom would be good! And peace in the midst of the storm of everyday life. Thanks, folks!


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Alrighty, then!

After 10 or more hours holding on the phone, after 4 servicemen coming out at different times, it is all over. The last guy who came, Terry, was WONDERFUL. And he came upstairs and looked at my computer, asked me what I was using, and told me, on the "sly", as it were, that I should cancel the DSL with AT&T (his company!) and just stick with what I have! And that I could ALSO cancel AOL, because they do allow the ability to use their system for free, and keep my email address, etc., which I have had through them for 11.5 years (which tells you EXACTLY how long I have had Shao...I got it the day after we got home from China!)

SOOO...not frustrated anymore. Being credited for the modem, the overnight delivery charge (which is a joke, since it hasn't worked yet, so it's not like I needed it on July 1st!) the actualy DSL service, and who knows what else! :) And I cancelled AOL, as well. Feeling like I accomplished a lot today, even if it was all non-physical stuff. But hey, I DID change the sheets on my bed, and did some laundry. So, there you have it! :)

On the car front...not such good news. $500!!!!!!!! Wheel bearing shot, and my brake pads and rotors are terribly rusted. The mechanic asked if the car had sat for a long time recently. Nope. Although with the price of gas I don't go far. I put about 100 miles a week on it, at the most, unless we take a trip. He said it was very wierd, that he was sure it had, as that's what happens when cars sit unused. Anyhow...I have enough in my checking account, thank God. But since that is my rent account, it will be interesting to see how God provides the rent for August 1st!

OH....and I MEANT to tell y'all...the results from the biopsy are in, and it is not malignant. Just a pile of dead cells. They want me to come back in 6 months, just to make sure it hasn't changed. They put a little "clip" ?? in there to mark the spot. So, that is good!!!

Shao & I are getting ready for dinner, so I have to vamoose.


Can you say frustrated?!?

Venting here...since July 2nd, I spent countless hours either on the phone, or waiting for a repair man to come and get my new DSL internet service set up. I feel like I am whirling in circles here. People have come out, and into my house...my house wires, etc., are fine. It's outside...the phone lines aren't set up or split, or something, to carry DSL into my house. I was told this would be done by Sunday night at the latest. It's now Tuesday morning. Had to call again. Told the same thing. So....I very patiently made sure the fellow on the phone checked all former comments on the account. That he was well aware that this was becoming ridiculous. I actually had to TELL HIM what needed to be done. Otherwise, I think we would have jumped right back on the carousel of phone madness. And I'm getting dizzy...I want OFF! I THINK I got through to him. I told him I wanted a call from the technician when it was done, and I wanted the technician to hold on the line while I AGAIN hooked up their modem, etc., and made sure it worked BEFORE they left!!!!!!!! This is crazy!!!

Okay...on the home front, things are quiet. I am driving bus this week and next and then will be off for the remainder of the summer, until August 31st. Looking forward to a little down time, the first week I am off. But then first two weeks of August ShaoXi will be going to Ballet Intensive, which is from 9-4 every weekday. And it is an hour round trip...so I will be on the road 2 hours a day, taking and picking up! That's a lot of driving. It's worth it, though. She will be dancing under Joffrey Ballet Company's former prima ballerina and their former principal dancer (male equivalent of prima), so she should learn a lot! I'm excited for her...but I know it will be exhausting. She'll be one tired little puppy by the end of the second week! :)

My car is in the shop. Heaven help me, another bill! Not even sure what is wrong...I have to call the mechanic today, to find out. But it was making some really BAD noises, although it was driving okay. But it sounded like it was in the wheel area, so I was afraid it might fall off, or something! Never a dull moment.

That's about it...gotta go...the phone just rang, and it's the phone service. They must speak to me immediately, press zero...so I do, and now I am on hold. Go figure! So I'd better hook their system back up!!!


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Corrie needs your help

Corrie needs surgery. She has a very serious heart defect, as well as an intestinal issue. Both surgeries are $5000 each. Can you pray? Can you help? Go to the link on the side of the blog for Morning Star Project! Had Bill and Lynsay NOT taken Corrie in, she would not be alive today. There have been so many moments over the past 11 months that they were sure the Lord was going to take her home. Instead, she is doing fairly well, but her health is fragile, and these operations are vital to her staying alive. Thank you for praying for sweet Corrie! And she STILL needs a forever family to love her!


Happy Fourth of July, folks! Just got home from the 2 hour parade. What a privilege to live in a country that celebrates freedom, both for our land and us personally. It was heartwarming to see all the veterans there, and to see the crowd rise to their feet to honor them. Last night I sat on the beach for 5 hours, and spent time worshipping and praising our Lord for the beauty of His creation, and praying for so many dear friends who are gravely ill and need His healing touch. Again, what a privilege to live in a country where we CAN pray, and are free to follow our hearts and souls.

The little girls were at the parade. How sweet those two babies are! They were all dressed in the 4th of July outfits I bought them on ebay for 2 dollars! They looked SOOO cute!

Shao's "Big Sister" from Yale University is spending the weekend with us. Bonnie is from LA, and all this New England pride and celebration is fascinating to her! As well as the green grass, and big open town green, and lots of room for kids to run free and play. Guess there's a shortage of that in LA! :) She is a real sweetheart, and a lot of fun. And she motivates Shao to help out, which is ALWAYS a good thing. Don't get me wrong...my girl is the most INCREDIBLE helper in the world. But sometimes she doesn't move too fast to DO it...takes a lot of pleading on my part, at times. At other times, I will come home from errands, or something, and she will have been a whirlwind, doing a whole bunch of things to surprise me. As I always say, I am VERY blessed with this child!!!

I am working for the next 3 weeks, and then off until the 31st of August. While I look forward to the off time, it also means no pay. I DO get to collect unemployment, so it will help some. But summer is always an interesting time for bus drivers, financially. Good thing I happen to have a Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills...not to mention the hills, themselves! :)