Thursday, July 16, 2009

Why, oh why?

Okay. I am nowhere NEAR as down as I was awhile back. But still. I am facing countless bills. I have to come up with $200 more dollars by the 3rd of August, for Shao to take her Ballet Intensives. My car is going to be $500, a very unexpected expense, but what can I do? Shao's birthday is quickly approaching. It would be nice if I could get her a few gifts. I have to pay for the Emissions inspection before July 29, and I have to pay the town car tax by August 1st.

I usually manage, SOMEHOW, to pay the monthly bills. It always amazes me that I am able to do so. But the extra, unexpected ones...well, that's another story. On top of it all, I have one week left to drive, and then am off for 6 weeks. I will get unemployment, but it is only 2/3 of what I make during the usual school year. And since it is difficult to make ends meet during the reg. school year, it should be impossible with what I get through unemployment.

On top of it, I am finding that dealing with an almost teenager, even if she is the greatest kid I personally have ever known, is challenging. I can't seem to impress upon her why it is important to wear modest clothing. It is not that she is TERRIBLY immodest. But she loves those spaghetti strap tops that all the girls wear. And while they look so cute on her, they are far from modest. Her bra straps show, and she HAS to wear a bra (my girl is growing up!) And there is a fair amount of skin showing, although her hair does cover alot. But ya can't count on that! So tonight she got into a mood, and pulled almost every shirt out of her drawers, saying they all had to go, because they are immodest. Not that she WANTED to get rid of them. She just wanted to have her little fit of attitude. And now she wants me to come to her room, so she can show me all the shirts she has to get rid of. It's an impressive pile. But none of this is done because of HER c convictions about modesty. She's mad at me, and hopes that this will make me feel bad. I KNOW her. And I am sorry, but it will NOT make me feel bad. Although I do think she is going overboard. Because she can wear these shirts here at home, and just hanging around. I don't have a problem with that.

Oh, man. Venting at it's finest. I am spinning around like a top these days. It makes me dizzy, to say the least. Not one of my favorite feelings...I was never a "twirler" when I was little. Shao is...she used to judge a dress on it's "twirlability" when she spun around. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I can get her INTO a dress. She loves to give me a hard time about it. I insist, most of the time, on a dress for church on Sundays, as well as for the big holidays. The rest of the time she is welcome to choose her own outfits, as long as they are MODEST! There's that word again.

Sigh...guess this is just the beginning of a lot of battles. I need to learn to pick mine...but modesty is not one I will budge on.

Pray for me...wisdom would be good! And peace in the midst of the storm of everyday life. Thanks, folks!


1 comment:

  1. Sophie's new school doesn't allow ANY tank tops, no matter what the strap width. Boy am I relieved!