Friday, March 5, 2010

I cried today

Let me quickly dispel any fears on your part, and advise that they were happy tears. And for those of you who haven't met me IRL (in real life), I cry ALOT!! Just ask Shao. Ah, the joys of getting older. set the stage, the front page of our regional paper featured our town. And not for any good reasons I could determine. To further set the stage...I live in a town on the shoreline of CT. I grew up here. My child is growing up here. Much of my family has ALWAYS lived here, while I moved away for many years, and only moved back 4 years ago. But I love it here, with all its faults and problems. And lately? They have been legion.

It started with a police scandal, the likes of which rocked our town. These officers sworn to uphold the law (not all mind you, but MANY of our small sized force!) were breaking the law in a myriad of small and BIG ways. It was unsettling, upsetting, and frankly, to me, disgusting. I KNOW some of the retired officers and their families, who served when I was growing up here. They are GOOD people, and were just as horrified as I was.

That being said, many were fired, a new chief and several new officers have been hired, and things are moving forward. Let's fast forward to New Year's Eve, 2009. There was a party held, in a home, supposedly with adult supervision, for many kids in Shao's grade, grade 8. Oh, how thankful I am that my little girl was not there...not that she was invited...another reason to be thankful. So...apparently several boys decided rape was not such a bad thing, and forced themselves on a girl...a girl the same age as my precious baby! And it was NOT with any consent, I am assuming, as they have all been charged with unlawful restraint, first degree sexual assault, injury to minors, and on and on. And every few days we hear about another boy being added to the arrest list. They are all expelled. They are all in juvenile detention. They will all, forever, be listed as sex offenders. They have all totally ruined their lives. And that poor little doesn't even bear thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...where were the parents who were "supervising" this event? That question certainly begs an answer. And furthermore, where were all the OTHER kids? Did NO ONE step up and say "This is wrong!" and take a stand, and do something? I mean, this defies imagination, in my book, really it does. I just don't GET it! I don't.

And tears? I began thinking on all of this horror, and began thanking and praising my Heavenly Father for the child He entrusted to me...this priceless, precious treasure that I am laying up for Heaven. And truly, she is one of the few that moth and dust and decay cannot touch. And you know? I have often wondered if she REALLY "got it." If she truly understood how I felt about my Jesus, about my God, about my faith. Was she just mouthing the words? Was she going along because this was all she knew right now? But you know what? I don't think so. She wants to go back to China someday, to share the gospel! I really don't think that is the heart of a child who doesn't get it, do you? Oh, I am so blessed. I fully believe that MY child, had she been at that party (perish the thought!), would have stood up and stopped it. I fully believe she know the difference between right and wrong, and WANTS to do the right thing. I have always told her that God has entrusted me with this huge responsibility of raising her for Him, and that I DARE NOT fail Him in this! But I also believe that HE is guiding her, far more than even I. That the Holy Spirit works within my child's life in ways I can't even fathom.
And so...I cried today. Tears of joy, thanksgiving, praise. I love you , Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!


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